B.A.R.R.E.D

Did I catch you by surprise? OMG are you shocked? Bet you didn't see that coming right???

haha.. well.. this week.. no, actually today (Tuesday), I had to prove myself to all my lecturers and my fellow comrades that I am not a victim of the 'B' word... yes people.. I was on the barring list... and I know we shouldn't let people know that we're inadequate.. but hey, I'm only human...

Last week was hell on earth for me... one is because I was emotionally unstable with my whole concept of life, love, friendship, studies... typical Kamil right... another thing was that my name was on the friggin barring list for Gamma FA student... feel free to ask why... I felt so low because it's not because I'm too lazy to work my ass of.. it's because of fate... I felt so weak and the fact that this was actually god's way of testing me.. I was already on my knees begging for it to stop...

At the point of giving up... I remembered what I learned in Syariah Islamiah and Al-Quran Sunnah during my form 5 year... the word JIHAD... just like that, I was determined to prove that I am worthy of something...

When you're in trouble and your family is far away, FRIENDS are very important for morale support... Alhamdulillah for me, Mawi, Bapak, Remy, Haziq, Faiq and Acap was there supporting me.. encouraging me to strive... Not to mention Ally, Alia and Ecah who were there for me virtually... Last but not least, Alan who I can't thank enough as he was the real reason I found hope in myself... I thank you all for giving me the support and love and encouragement... Like I said... my family is far... if I lose you guys.. then I don't have anybody here... you guys might don't know how much I value our friendship...

And as for my parents... ayah and ibu... I love you guys more than life itself... I'm so grateful to god that I got to meet you guys in this chaotic moment even if it's for a short while.. I hugged my mom like I never hugged her before... I kissed my dad's cheek like I never did before... I want to say thank you for believe in me and being so understanding.. I wont let you guys down...

For my lecturers.. Mr Jijoe, Mr Azman and Ms Nadia... words cannot express how much I value your criticism... just now.. hearing Mr Jijoe whisper to Ms Nadia after I was done my presentation "That was a huge improvement"... I felt like a huge boulder has been lifted from me and I could take a moment to breathe as deep as I could... with all your guidance and consultation.. I wont let you guys down... thank you for still believing in me and feel like I have the potential...

For those of you I didn't mentioned your name.. I apologize and I thank you guys also for helping me through this dreadful moment..