Blinded Shallow Minded

This post is gonna be lengthy. I assure you.

I hate shallow minded people. Especially the religious type. This time I'm not holding back. Today, I logged in to my Facebook account and I saw someone's status. He was giving condolences to the people who lost their live in hurricane Sandy. In the very same status, he also said and I quote;

"how does it feel?! what you give, you get back" :)

the power of GOD :)"

Now what does this tell you? If you asked me, I'm utterly disgusted by the fact that initially he wanted to give his sincerest condolences but at the end ended up being a jerk with that stupid statement. I mean, come on. You call yourself a muslim? I know I'm not that pious but I thought Islam teaches us to be grateful, considerate, and forgiving? Where does those teachings fit in that Facebook status? None.

I'm sorry to say that I have lost my sense of respect towards this man. To me, this is just like when the tsunami hit Acheh almost 10 years ago. Many shallow minded people was falling for the tabloids saying that Acheh got hit by the tsunami because the night before, the people of Acheh had a wild party where they had sex and drank booze. It is God's punishment towards them. This could be true. But here's my argument; 

No, I'm not saying that it's not God's work. Of course it does. Everything that happens is in God's will but please, by making statements like "It's god's punishments" and what not is just gibberish. By making such statements and accusations towards God, you are making yourself look dumb. As a muslim, when such catastrophe happens, what I learned was to always be grateful and pray that you are safe, pray that the people affected by the disaster get help immediately and pray to god for forgiveness while you still can. I had an argument with a friend years ago about this tsunami issue. He said that all the bad muslims were punished by God for organizing those wild parties. So I asked him, "But they are still muslims. Why didn't God punished the non-muslims too? Why send the tsunami at Acheh which is part of Indonesia which has the largest muslim population? Why did God punished his own servants?" My friend just stood silence. I continued "How are we to convince people that Islam is the right religion? The only religion? I bet if you say that tsunami was God's punishment towards bad muslims, then those people will never want to embrace Islam as their religion. Why would they wanna embrace a religion that sends you tsunami everytime you have sinned? Might as well embrace other religions and die old and still can commit sins without worrying about any tsunami killing them." This is how I analyze the situation.

If God wanted to punish people who have sinned, why not God burned down those night clubs in Malaysia? Why does God had to hit Acheh with tsunami killing thousands of innocent people? Why? Why? Why? It's called fate. Takdir. The only thing you can do is take solace that you still have a chance to beg for forgiveness. Don't go wander around saying that hurricane Sandy was a way of God punishing America. Innocent people were killed too. Do you think they deserved to die something they didn't do? Sure you do, by making shallow minded statements.

This got me thinking, how are we the muslim trying to show the world that Islam is a religious of peace, love and compassion when muslims themselves have a hard time being peaceful, loving and compassionate.

I know this topic is very sensitive and I the words I used are harsh. I just really couldn't stand it anymore and stay silence when someone makes a shallow statements and use religion to justify it. I could be wrong the entire time I'm writing this so please, if you feel like I didn't get the irony of such shallow Facebook comment just like the above, do enlighten me with your two cents because I really want to be a better person and importantly a better muslim. Do share your thoughts. *I'm not being sarcastic*

In addition, I want to say that my prayers goes to the people who are affected by hurricane Sandy, also to all the muslims in the entire world. May you guys find the strength in each other and also have faith in God.

Stranger Danger

Stranger oh stranger,

You are such a danger,

Why oh why you ponder,

Such beauty from another gender,

Makes my mind to wonder,

Gestures of the grandeur,

This beating heart grows fonder,

Stranger oh stranger,

Now no need to ponder,

Why you are such a danger.

The Lee Chong WAY!

Even though Ming H. said he's no poet, but to me this is far from good. It's awesome. Respect for the words and respect to our very own Malaysian hero, Dato' Lee Chong Wei for bagging a silver medal in the badminton Olympic final. This is what I call 'poetic' justice. hahaha I know.. I'll get a gold medal for lameness.

Besides that, I wanna congrats Pandelela Rinong Pamg for contributing a bronze medal for Malaysia in the women's 10m platform final. Did you guys know, Pandelela is the first woman to get a medal for Malaysia in the Olympics? Amazing right.. you go girl!

Liquid

Like I promised from the last post, I was gonna share with you guys a poem I did last year or is it two years ago. The title is 'Liquid'. I made the poem because I wanted to submit a poem to eatsleepdraw. The theme was liquid. Plus they said that if my poem was good enough, they would published it.

I gotta tell you, it was hard since the theme is liquid, but since we're being honest, I wanna let you in on a little secret. I can write poems when I'm somewhat in love. Fortunately, I was able to make a poem with liquid as its theme because.. haha I was kinda diggin this girl.  *laughs*

LIQUID

Like liquid
Like the sea to the squid,
You give shelter and food,
Like you to this humble kid,
No bad intentions just plain good.


Like liquid,
Like my affections towards you,
Unlike solids and gases,
It flows freely and true,
without being motionless and disappear into masses.


like liquid,
Like the cloud and the sun,
You are mold from to become none,
Forms into particles of white matter,
For which you shall become tears that scatter.


Like liquid,
Sometimes it can be red,
Sometimes it can be blue,
Chemistry is so wonderful and great,
Just like my feelings towards you.

Like liquid,
You give life and important in hygienic reason,
Without hesitation without any season,
Your love for me is like a light in a prison,
It cleans my soul and kills the poison.


Well, as you can see, it's not that good. Well, none of my poems are award winning or deep thinking. I just like to rhyme. Simple as that. Well, I hope you enjoy it.. owh, I really hope someone could visualize this poem. That would be so awesome!

Like can turn to like like

... and like like can turn to love~

Ted & Gooch - Screw You

So guys, I gotta confession...

I think I've fallen for someone. *audience go "seriously Kamil?! Not again..."* It's true. I've been fighting this somewhat feeling for quite sometime now. I'm not gonna tell you who the unlucky lady is because it's pointless. You don't even know her haha. Do you know what's my next plan is;

Forgetting her. Yup, you heard me right. I need to get it out of the system. I can't have this like like feeling. Why? Because I know deep down, it's not gonna work out. Even though deep down I really want it to work. Lets just say I kinda got the heads up on this one. *wink*

I've been thinking over and over, I don't want to ruin what we have right now. Another thing that's stopping me from saying all in my mind to her is fear. I fear of the risk to get my own happiness. What if she said no? How do I go about it? Will we still be friends? When should be a good time to tell her? *giggles*

In addition, I got my heart broken real bad before. Well, lots of time... but the last one was the worst. No, it wasn't because of a lover, but a friend whom I gave my trust. I like that friend and she lied her way out of my fragile heart *cewah* You see, I'm afraid to get my heart broken again. It hurts so bad I'm scared to ever let myself be vulnerable once more.

I don't even have a fighting chance. That's another concrete reason. I mean look at me. Jobless, unattractive and talentless. I'm not loathing for pity here guys *laughs* But that's the harsh reality right now. I hate competing with guys over a girl. That is not how I was brought up. I feel like fighting over a girl is like treating the girl like some sort of prize. I hate that. Self confidence is the keyword here. It's something I need to learn how to own.

Plus I'm looking for the real thing here, not a fling. I'm talking about marriage *The audiences gave a loud sigh. One of them said "Oh no he didn't!"* hahahah.. And I will always believe in "character over chemistry," Right now, I don't think I have the characteristic she adores.

Part of me wants her to read this. Part of me doesn't. If she does read this... my oh my would that be something. 

Anyway, I just needed to let this out and what better way than to blog it out. It's not like I have readers anymore. I know I've been inconsistent since last year. I plan to make it up this year. In fact, my next post is about a poem titled 'Liquid'. 

Sorry guys for posting this really cute song and wrote a stupid story to go along with it. Do enjoy the song.

P.S. This post maybe misleading in 7 different ways. Who cares, I'm the writer here bitches! muahaha!

May the 4th be with you.

Yesterday was StarWars day! I know I'm not that much of a StarWars geek, but the saga will always be in my heart. Anyway, just a little info about me and StarWars;

The first StarWars movie I watched was The Empire Strikes Back. Back Then, I didn't understand a thing about the movie. The only I love was R2D2 and the whole part where Yoda is training Luke to become a Jedi. I hated the love hate relationship between Han Solo and Princess Leia.. Your name is Han SOLO for godsake! And lets not forget I was about 5 or 6 years old when I watched the VHS tape. So all those lovey dovey stuff was never in my interest. *evil laughs*

My favourite movie in the saga is definitely Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace. No doubt. I love everything about it. Queen Amidala, Obi Wan, Qui Gon, Tatooine (where Anakin was raised), Pod Racing, etc. With that, I will let you guys listen to my all-time favourite track from The Phantom Menace OST, "Duel Of The Fates." Hands in the best fighting scene in the whole StarWars saga, hands down.

P.S. One time, I opened this track my car and let my friends listened to it. A trip to dinner feels like an adventure to another galaxy. It was EPIC! Right guys? *crickets sound*

May the 4th be with you guys because tomorrow it's revenge of the 5th. *giggles*

Brief moment with Dad

After my final FYP presentation, I went to see le Dad at KLIA before he took off for Penang.

le Dad

le moi

I guess I have my Dad's nose.. well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.. "Mana tumpahnya kuah kalau bukan ke nasi.".. enough proverbs for one day! Anyway.. here's a text my father sent to me before I submit my FYP.. I thought it was so sweet of him :)

well, that's it from me..

Lil Miss Liss

This post is dedicated to a dear friend of mine, Norlisa Soraya or as we call her, Lisa or Liss :)

She's going away to further her studies in the UK soon.. She'll be leaving Malaysia early January.. One thing about her is that she's a very popular (muahaha!) girl, so it's very hard for us to actually go out with her unless we made an appointment or some sort with her first..

About 2 weeks ago we planned to go for a karaoke session, but the plan got canceled.. thus I promised her I'll make it up to her...

...by playing badminton like we used to for one last time.. atleast for now *innocent smiles*

I can say that she really knows me quite well.. I guess because she's a good listener.. Everytime we got stressed out, we will go out just the two of us to the lake and just talk, sing out loud, share our problems and simply pour our heart out on each other.. we've been doing that for almost 3 years already.. No one actually knows where we went as we don't talk about it.. it's just our little secret.. well now you guys know about it *laughs*

Our last Tasik Session with the exception of Azmira who took this photo

So after this no more Geng Tasik or GT.. no more summarizing every episode of How I Met Your Mother.. no more making fun of her height during badminton as she is below the net *muahahah!!!*

Good luck Liss! Thank you for all the time we spent together at the lake :)

P.S, Maher did a video of her giving a speech *diva much? hahah* feel free to check it out at his FB.

A Photograph

"A photograph is just a memory.. It has nothing to do with the present nor the future.. It's just a tool to show how much we've change." - Kamil Hafidz

AidilAdha 2011

We changed how we celebrate Eid this year.. I guess.. we'll be changing how we celebrate anything from now on..

Briefly after Eid prayer, the whole family went straight to my Grandpa's musollah or in malay 'surau'.. where my Grandma and Mak Cidah were buried.. there lies their graves.. 

It's almost 100 days my Mak Cidah passed away.. so we did a tahlil ceremony for her and my Grandma.. after that we had a small family lunch at my oldest aunt's... her house is just in the musollah's compound.. Not to forget, we did celebrate my cousin's 26th birthday as well.. 

Wakey wakey says Uncle Fidz to Hana(above) and Najiha(below)

Tearful Insyirah

Harith joining the rest of the bunch

Marissa aka Achachaa with Uncle Fahmi

Small soldiers

Mujahid and Marissa

I'm putting him up for the audition of Baby Gap *laughs*

Gangsta Insyirah

Kak Cimah with her birthday cake

All in all it was a decent family gathering.. even though I didn't get to celebrate Eid with my parents.. this would suffice :)

We're marchin on!

Speechless... Thanks for the 10 years we've been together guys :')

1 finger in the air

1 finger in the air for the fucking liars,

1 finger in the air for those that thought we’re stupid,

1 finger in the air for those who never thought we cared,

1 finger in the air to tell them to bring it!

*sometimes I guess anger brings out the best in me, drawing and poetry at the same time? daammmnnn!*

When we was young...

...owh man did we have fun

...always... always..

The Strokes - Someday

I've been listening to The Strokes lately and that song just made me reminiscing.... good times.. good times!

I need inspiration!

Wow... it seems like forever since I've last posted something here... and the latest posts are usually music.. I need to find something fresh, something cool, something from me.. and something worth posting about...

Well, this post however, is about music.. But don't worry guys... I have my found myself some good materials that are worth posting *wink*wink*

If I need an inspiration, and surely indeed I need... Nick Pitera's "One Man Disney Movie" is the right thing to listen for an epiphany bursting in you head.

I don't know bout you guys, but I'm a total sucker for all the classic Disney films. When I hear this magical collage of songs, I remembered all the Disney VHS tape I have, sing-a-long with the siblings and cousins, saying-the-dialog-before-they-even-being-said-in-the-film moments *hahaha get it?*

Only then I can think clearly... innocently... I can say that my source of inspiration came a lot from my innocent childhood.. It's cheesy but doesn't make it any less true... and by saying this, I have obtained inspiration ladies and gentlemen! 

So I really hope you listen to it and feel what I felt when I listen to it.. plus, can you name all the movie that are being featured in this wonderful medley? *Smile*

Insanely from the heart

I love the music arrangement... I love the lyrics... No lovey dovey words.. just words that we wouldn't dare to say out loud... atleast for me..

Nenek

My grandma passed away last Saturday.. it was a dreadful time for the whole family...

I woke up at 11 am that day... I took my phone to look at the time, then I found out that my dad text me about half an hour before... "Nenek dah meinggal." I was a bit blurry and I couldn't believe what I saw... I immediately called him.. He was in a rush.. he said the my family is packing up and gonna leave Penang for Lenggeng, Negeri Sembilan.

Up at that time I knew this wasn't no nightmare.. it's happening... I got up from bed.. freshen up.. and off I'm headed to my Aunt's.. 

Honestly, the whole 1 hour drive.. I was utterly confused.. I didn't know what to feel anymore.. sad? angry? what am I feeling right now.. it was all a big mess in my head that time... the radio was on.. but I wasn't singing along... I kept thinking of how all this could've happened...

As I got to my Aunt's.. it was already 1 pm and a lot of people were there... I hopped out of my car and my Uncle Lan told me that Grandma was in the living room.. There she was... covered by a long white clean cloth.. People were sitting around her reciting the Yasin.. including my youngest Aunt, Mak Nor.. 

I came near her, she just hugged me very tightly like she doesn't wanna let me go.. She explained everything to me... But I was silent... I grab a Yasin booklet and sat right next to my grandma...

So I started reciting the Yasin.. but again.. I was emotionless.. I dunno what is this feeling I'm currently having right now.. Then people came to see her.. So they unveil the white cloth to see her face.. She looked so peaceful.. Only then I lost.. I cried... a lot.. I was still figuring out why am I crying so bad.. I knew.. I will never see my grandma ever again.. I kept watching at her tummy.. hoping to see movement of inhaling and exhaling.. but that was wishful thinking.. At that moment.. upon seeing her face.. I was trembling.. Every verse of the Yasin I recited was unclear... I couldn't contained myself any further..

Briefly after finished reciting the Yasin.. I got up, wept my tears and went to see my cousins and aunties and uncles.. my family wasn't here yet... they were still halfway... Among my relatives.. Mak Nor was devastated the most.. She kept crying and crying.. She couldn't hold it together... After awhile.. I sat next to my grandma again.. besides me was my cousin, Ana.. we talk about grandma for awhile.. Then I told her I wanted to kiss grandma.. she wanted as well.. so we came near grandma and unveil the white cloth.. Before I kissed her, I whisper at the ear " I guess my wish of you seeing me getting married will not be coming true Nenek" I kissed her forehead a few times.. It was very cold...

About half and hour later.. my family arrived.. I only hugged my mom briefly as she was in a hurry to see grandma... They were ready to bathed her... Right after bathing grandma.. they will 'kapan' (I dunno the english word for it) her...

Then the process of 'kapan' is complete.. it's time for the family to say goodbye to grandma before her face is closed for good... When it's time to put her in the carrier, I sat next to her head so I can carry her.. I cried again... We carried her to the van and my cousin Razi and I were the only people to accompany her in that van..

We arrived at the mosque... we got out of the van and joined the jemaah for Asar prayer... After that, we took grandma out of the van to perform the Jenazah prayer upon her..

My granddad once told some of us that he wanted his family to be buried at his surau *musolla*.. at that's what we did.. We reached granddad's surau... There I saw, a hole 6 feet deep... When the time they put grandma at the "liang lahad" that was probably the most emotional part for all of us... Everybody was hugging each other and some of us couldn't even look... For me, I was so sad as I was literally burying my own grandma with the shovel at my hands.. 

The minute we finished burying her, tears started rolling down like the rain during the monsoon season.. That time, I really couldn't control myself.. 

GO CRESCENT!

CRESCENT! Yep.. that's what we'll always shout before our game start... Yesterday was our last match for the semester... it was against Nemesis... and guess what.. We won!

3-0 dude! after every match, we would always review our gameplay, and after every match our team gets better.. and the last match was the finest! Even though we were 11 guys and there were only played with 9... so we kinda had the advantage.. that doesn't mean we were overconfident and looked down on our opponent..

All in all.. of all the 9 matches we had during this semester, this is our first win... we had a draw and 7 losses.. *laughs* what can  I say... we're a team that is constantly improving... but I have to say.. I our greatest defeat was against Kacang FC where they beat us at a staggering 5 to nothing... I mean.. how bad can you play until you conceded 5 goals?? hahahah..

Another defining moment was when we drew with Atletico Assaceno... Both our goals came from our superstar player Andiano.. yep that's his real name... and both of the goals were from a long range freekick...

I have to say our team highlight was when we lost to Barcala FC... little known fact.. majority of the players from Barcala are close friends of us and we even train on the same field like next to each other.. so there's this rivalry going on between us.. but there's no need to fear.. it's all good competition... Even though it's just a mere 2-1 defeat, we felt good because we controlled the game especially the 2nd half.. we were just out of luck in the scoring department... plus one of their goals was a penalty shoot out.. Never the less.. a goal is still a goal.. a goal can differentiate a team between winning and losing..

So this is all the match we played;

vs Mantis - 1-2
vs Staff - 0-2
vs Atletico assaceno - 2-2
vs Saracen - 0-1
vs Sejuk - 0-1
vs Abu Dhabi - 0-1
vs Kacang - 0-5
vs Barcala - 1-2
vs Nemesis - 3-0

I really hope Crescent will still go on for next semester.. but I don't really have the time to go to practice and matches and I will be doing my internship at that time.. Insyaallah...

Here's some of the photos Shamin took during our last match...

Crescent FC

Perus and King (center forward and midfielder)

Me with a moustache

Our very own Khairul Fahmi, Remy the 2nd keeper

Nabil the leftback

The centerbacks! Aley and yours trully..

a picture with Alia, a kipas-susah-mati (die-hard-fan)

the picture above kinda reminded me of this Slamdunk poster.. hehehe

GO CRESCENT!

Futuristic Vintage

Was doing my UV layout on Maya ever so hardworking-ly and suddenly my graphic card crashed..  it's normal but I was really into my work.. thus killing my mood ever to start again.. non the less, I did save what I had before my PC went gay...

Anyway.. on my Tumblr's dashboard, The Daily What posted a new music video from She and Him...

She & Him - Don't Look Back from Merge Records on Vimeo.

I adore She and Him... it's indie.. it's so 70s and it's soooo Zooey Deschanel! What's wrong about that right.. I like the creative direction of this music video.. it's started out like one of those American retro educational video, not that I know what they really are.. I just assume as that's what the convey in the television. Well the educational video was a brief story about the future... but hold your horses there sunny! What they did is that they interpret the future was being so vintage and retro-ish.... it's so cool having to see all the gadgets and machines like in the 80s sci-fi movie... upon looking at the set, I kinda relate it to the game, The Sims; minimalistic.

When I think of the future, I can only think of music like Daft Punk, Ratatat or even Black Eyed Peas... but in this particular futuristic interpretation, the music is indie pop and I like the feel of it..

In this music video.. I can really understood the phrase "Back to The Future"... *laughs!* How cheesy was that!

A Twist of Creepy and Desperation

I won't deny Taylor Swift's You Belong With me is a very lovey dovey song with her fairy tale rendition and musical arrangement... I but gotta say, Erin Markey potrayed the girl singing this song so psychotic and desperate! Come to think of it.. the lyrics kinda sound creepy and psychotic at the same time when you look at a different perspective..

I bet most of you guys would feel the same way listening to Erin Markey's cover... To me.. She's good... she got that broadway-ish voice and she acts while she's singing... that's hard... I really love the ending part of the cover where she changed her vocal chords to imitate the cliche voice of the devil... 

Candid Happiness

I cherish the simplest thing that life has to offer me. So everytime I see people especially my friends laughs and smiles without me noticing... there's this sudden burst of happiness inside of me.. I feel like an audience watching this sitcom called "Life". *ok poyo*

Little known fact about me is that I really love to snap pictures of people without them noticing.. sometimes I feel like a part-time paparazi *laughs* But most of the time I feel like I'm capturing those really innocent, meaningful and true moments of my life. 

Everytime I flash my Iphone or my camera.... I'm hoping that the person I'm looking thru the viewfinder is not noticing... so that his/her expressions are real and not posing for the sake of looking good in the photo. Sometimes when I got caught trying to take their pictures.. they often smile for pose... it's okay but the innocence is gone... I'm that fussy... for example, a friend of mine is telling a really scary story with the expressions included... but as I try to snap his picture, he tried to smile.. so I failed to capture a very expressive story-teller and I got just another pose-for-the-camera kinda picture.. 

Get what I mean; priceless expressions!

I always like to show the photo I took to them as I hope that they could see the beauty I see...  But lets be frank... most of you guys know I love taking pictures of people sleeping.. cuz I don't sleep! hahahaha...

More candid pictures to come! This I promise you...