Like can turn to like like

... and like like can turn to love~

Ted & Gooch - Screw You

So guys, I gotta confession...

I think I've fallen for someone. *audience go "seriously Kamil?! Not again..."* It's true. I've been fighting this somewhat feeling for quite sometime now. I'm not gonna tell you who the unlucky lady is because it's pointless. You don't even know her haha. Do you know what's my next plan is;

Forgetting her. Yup, you heard me right. I need to get it out of the system. I can't have this like like feeling. Why? Because I know deep down, it's not gonna work out. Even though deep down I really want it to work. Lets just say I kinda got the heads up on this one. *wink*

I've been thinking over and over, I don't want to ruin what we have right now. Another thing that's stopping me from saying all in my mind to her is fear. I fear of the risk to get my own happiness. What if she said no? How do I go about it? Will we still be friends? When should be a good time to tell her? *giggles*

In addition, I got my heart broken real bad before. Well, lots of time... but the last one was the worst. No, it wasn't because of a lover, but a friend whom I gave my trust. I like that friend and she lied her way out of my fragile heart *cewah* You see, I'm afraid to get my heart broken again. It hurts so bad I'm scared to ever let myself be vulnerable once more.

I don't even have a fighting chance. That's another concrete reason. I mean look at me. Jobless, unattractive and talentless. I'm not loathing for pity here guys *laughs* But that's the harsh reality right now. I hate competing with guys over a girl. That is not how I was brought up. I feel like fighting over a girl is like treating the girl like some sort of prize. I hate that. Self confidence is the keyword here. It's something I need to learn how to own.

Plus I'm looking for the real thing here, not a fling. I'm talking about marriage *The audiences gave a loud sigh. One of them said "Oh no he didn't!"* hahahah.. And I will always believe in "character over chemistry," Right now, I don't think I have the characteristic she adores.

Part of me wants her to read this. Part of me doesn't. If she does read this... my oh my would that be something. 

Anyway, I just needed to let this out and what better way than to blog it out. It's not like I have readers anymore. I know I've been inconsistent since last year. I plan to make it up this year. In fact, my next post is about a poem titled 'Liquid'. 

Sorry guys for posting this really cute song and wrote a stupid story to go along with it. Do enjoy the song.

P.S. This post maybe misleading in 7 different ways. Who cares, I'm the writer here bitches! muahaha!