Brief moment with Dad

After my final FYP presentation, I went to see le Dad at KLIA before he took off for Penang.

le Dad

le moi

I guess I have my Dad's nose.. well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.. "Mana tumpahnya kuah kalau bukan ke nasi.".. enough proverbs for one day! Anyway.. here's a text my father sent to me before I submit my FYP.. I thought it was so sweet of him :)

well, that's it from me..

AidilAdha 2011

We changed how we celebrate Eid this year.. I guess.. we'll be changing how we celebrate anything from now on..

Briefly after Eid prayer, the whole family went straight to my Grandpa's musollah or in malay 'surau'.. where my Grandma and Mak Cidah were buried.. there lies their graves.. 

It's almost 100 days my Mak Cidah passed away.. so we did a tahlil ceremony for her and my Grandma.. after that we had a small family lunch at my oldest aunt's... her house is just in the musollah's compound.. Not to forget, we did celebrate my cousin's 26th birthday as well.. 

Wakey wakey says Uncle Fidz to Hana(above) and Najiha(below)

Tearful Insyirah

Harith joining the rest of the bunch

Marissa aka Achachaa with Uncle Fahmi

Small soldiers

Mujahid and Marissa

I'm putting him up for the audition of Baby Gap *laughs*

Gangsta Insyirah

Kak Cimah with her birthday cake

All in all it was a decent family gathering.. even though I didn't get to celebrate Eid with my parents.. this would suffice :)

The guy with the euphonium

Man I've been wanting to post this... but work got the best of me..

Amir, my youngest sibling joined his school marching band and almost a month ago, they entered a competition held in Putrajaya. I was lucky enough to see him perform with his band... and they came in third place...

Amir with his euphonium..

The Penang Free School marching band

I got to take a picture with brother of the hour :P

I'm damn proud of you bro.

She knows...

... how to pose for her dearest Uncle Fidz...

Nenek

My grandma passed away last Saturday.. it was a dreadful time for the whole family...

I woke up at 11 am that day... I took my phone to look at the time, then I found out that my dad text me about half an hour before... "Nenek dah meinggal." I was a bit blurry and I couldn't believe what I saw... I immediately called him.. He was in a rush.. he said the my family is packing up and gonna leave Penang for Lenggeng, Negeri Sembilan.

Up at that time I knew this wasn't no nightmare.. it's happening... I got up from bed.. freshen up.. and off I'm headed to my Aunt's.. 

Honestly, the whole 1 hour drive.. I was utterly confused.. I didn't know what to feel anymore.. sad? angry? what am I feeling right now.. it was all a big mess in my head that time... the radio was on.. but I wasn't singing along... I kept thinking of how all this could've happened...

As I got to my Aunt's.. it was already 1 pm and a lot of people were there... I hopped out of my car and my Uncle Lan told me that Grandma was in the living room.. There she was... covered by a long white clean cloth.. People were sitting around her reciting the Yasin.. including my youngest Aunt, Mak Nor.. 

I came near her, she just hugged me very tightly like she doesn't wanna let me go.. She explained everything to me... But I was silent... I grab a Yasin booklet and sat right next to my grandma...

So I started reciting the Yasin.. but again.. I was emotionless.. I dunno what is this feeling I'm currently having right now.. Then people came to see her.. So they unveil the white cloth to see her face.. She looked so peaceful.. Only then I lost.. I cried... a lot.. I was still figuring out why am I crying so bad.. I knew.. I will never see my grandma ever again.. I kept watching at her tummy.. hoping to see movement of inhaling and exhaling.. but that was wishful thinking.. At that moment.. upon seeing her face.. I was trembling.. Every verse of the Yasin I recited was unclear... I couldn't contained myself any further..

Briefly after finished reciting the Yasin.. I got up, wept my tears and went to see my cousins and aunties and uncles.. my family wasn't here yet... they were still halfway... Among my relatives.. Mak Nor was devastated the most.. She kept crying and crying.. She couldn't hold it together... After awhile.. I sat next to my grandma again.. besides me was my cousin, Ana.. we talk about grandma for awhile.. Then I told her I wanted to kiss grandma.. she wanted as well.. so we came near grandma and unveil the white cloth.. Before I kissed her, I whisper at the ear " I guess my wish of you seeing me getting married will not be coming true Nenek" I kissed her forehead a few times.. It was very cold...

About half and hour later.. my family arrived.. I only hugged my mom briefly as she was in a hurry to see grandma... They were ready to bathed her... Right after bathing grandma.. they will 'kapan' (I dunno the english word for it) her...

Then the process of 'kapan' is complete.. it's time for the family to say goodbye to grandma before her face is closed for good... When it's time to put her in the carrier, I sat next to her head so I can carry her.. I cried again... We carried her to the van and my cousin Razi and I were the only people to accompany her in that van..

We arrived at the mosque... we got out of the van and joined the jemaah for Asar prayer... After that, we took grandma out of the van to perform the Jenazah prayer upon her..

My granddad once told some of us that he wanted his family to be buried at his surau *musolla*.. at that's what we did.. We reached granddad's surau... There I saw, a hole 6 feet deep... When the time they put grandma at the "liang lahad" that was probably the most emotional part for all of us... Everybody was hugging each other and some of us couldn't even look... For me, I was so sad as I was literally burying my own grandma with the shovel at my hands.. 

The minute we finished burying her, tears started rolling down like the rain during the monsoon season.. That time, I really couldn't control myself.. 

So I'll Try

Dear God,

Now I really notice you,

Forgive me for I have sinned,

I never realized all the guidance you followed me through,

So I'll try my best to be your humble servant ever so keened.

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Words can't show my gratitude,

You have shown me love since I was a baby,

So I'll try my best to adjust my attitude.

Dear Friends,

You are my family here,

Without you, I'm just a lonely fat boy,

I beg you, don't treat me like a broken toy,

So I'll try my best not to make you shed even a tear.

Dear Love,

why is it hard to find you,

high and low, far and near,

I promise I'll be yours forever and ever,

So I'll try my best to make you happy my dear.

Dear 2011,

Please be nice to me,

For I am shallow,

Knowledge are hard things to swallow,

So I'll try my best not to keep myself on the down low.

Insyaallah... 

So I guess this is my way of wishing you guys a Happy New Year! I know some of the stanzas are too long and doesn't even make sense.. Anyway... I hope you guys have a great year and all the best with future undertakings! 

Wrap my arms around you...

The title is like a song title right??? hahahaha

She's growing up... I wonder what she will think when she sees these photographs in her twenties.. she'll be all like "this is my awesome Uncle Hafidz..." to her girlfriends.. hahahah... you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one... Thanks John Lennon..  

Penang for awhile...

Midterm break has begun! I went back to my lovely little hometown, Penang.. Actually, I didn't plan to go back since I was super busy... ok maybe not that super... but I was...

The first thing I saw; Macbook Pro 15"!

The next day, we went to MRSM Taiping to see Tina who is currently doing her SPM..

Atleast I'm exited to see her

It's always been the 2 of us for the last 17 years

The Siblings...

Ayah with her princess... 

The whole family... we run this town!

On the last day of my visit, Mom and Dad made me an all-western breakfast! Dad made me an omelette and Mom basically did everything else but... 

the whole enchilada!

And not to forget... I went to see Rapunzel 3D with Ja and Amir... it was their first time and won't be the last.. 

We're from the future...

Fear us!

How's your midterm break going on? 

Achachaa

That's what the rest of the family calls her.. hehehe.. besides her real name which is Marissa.. Uncle Hafidz miss you dearly Achachaaa~

Happy Eid

Atina with her big brah, moi...

BraderBear wishes you all muslims out there a very Happy Eid... may god bless your families.. I just got back from my grandparents' after yet another blissful eid... alhamdulillah...I'll post about the whole shobang later when I have the time aite..

this is it from me for now with much love... 

Brotherly Love

Waaahh... now only I have the time to blog... while some people are busy having a good time during the sem break.. I'm in Penang working as a freelancer on some project.. sigh.. not the kinda retreat I planned it would be.. what can I say... I need the experience (and a whole lotta money!)

To some of my friends who are already doing their internship, I wish you guys all the best guys... Mine will be starting on the 31st of May.. since we're gonna be away from MMU and from each other.. I seriously hope we can still hang out.. you know.. during the weekends.. *laughs*

Anyway... I got back to Penang last Sunday.. but instead of going straight to Penang, I took a detour to Taiping.. where my sister, Tina is currently studying.. yup she goes to MRSM Taiping... she's bright.. I promised my parents that I would meet them there since I wont be seeing Tina for quite some time.. with SPM coming and all that... so here's some brotherly love from the BraderBear and the rest of the family... :P

General Adnan

Lieutenant Amir

Private Ja try to sneak a punch at Captain Kamaliah

Muah! *LMAO*

P.S : Tina... I want those Popeye's pillow arms back after you finish SPM!!!

Jom Joy Jump

As of today... I'm jumping for joy...  among the many reasons is because I finished my gamma year.. in god's will... All I can hope now is to pass this final trimester so I can continue with my internship... 

Speaking of internship... Alhamdulillah.. Les' Copaque took me in as one of their many interns... how great is that... I mean.. I've been wanting to do my internship there ever since their first ever feature film which was Malaysia's first 3D feature film came out to the cinemas. I hope I will gain tons of knowledge there... This should be a good opportunity to burn my flame of passion in animation once again...

The next thing that I'm jumping for joy is FA nite.. it's a simple get together held by us gamma FA student for the whole majoring. It was held last Thursday... The whole purpose of this event is to screen all the best work from the students from Beta, Gamma and Delta... I'm really happy because once again.. I was the technical guy and I was able to handle my task given by Acip successfully... I mean, sure running up and down MMU is tiring but damn the adrenaline was intoxicating! Once again.. The FA Budak-Budak Nakal manage to pull this one off!

Some of the Budak-Budak Nakal

Last but not least, finally I'm going home.. Penang Island, the pearl of the orient.... I guess it's been about 4 month since I went back to Penang.. I'm just lucky enough to see both of my parents once this semester at KLIA... as for my siblings.. you guys better watch out cuz big brother is coming back! the remote is mine!!! *evil laugh* 

I'm hoping this jumping for joy thing will be on a streak... 

Lighter on the other side of the brain

It was like a painter and his canvas... Ajad was the painter... and my head was the canvas...

I kinda let him cut my hair very short on the right side of my head... I wanted to for as long as I can remember... in spite of people saying don't do it.. because lots of people are doing it nowadays.. I have my reason for doing it... you see.. my head is like a metaphor here.. a metaphor of my heart... *here we go again guys*

Let me break it down to ya... I felt that I'm not myself anymore.. I'm not what I used to be.. not the average Kamil... I feel a piece of my heart, a part of myself is gone.. and I don't know where... So by just cutting my hair like this.. it's like saying a part of me is gone.. like the hair that has been cut off..

I told my mom about it.. she went ballistic... hahahaa... figures... right mom?? It's not a joy making you and Ayah mad and frustrated.. but who knows me the best if not the two of you... hehee... I hope you guys aren't that pissed off.. Can I still come home during sem break? *giggles*

"your lipstick stain... on the front lobe of my left side brain" - Train