Lighter on the other side of the brain

It was like a painter and his canvas... Ajad was the painter... and my head was the canvas...

I kinda let him cut my hair very short on the right side of my head... I wanted to for as long as I can remember... in spite of people saying don't do it.. because lots of people are doing it nowadays.. I have my reason for doing it... you see.. my head is like a metaphor here.. a metaphor of my heart... *here we go again guys*

Let me break it down to ya... I felt that I'm not myself anymore.. I'm not what I used to be.. not the average Kamil... I feel a piece of my heart, a part of myself is gone.. and I don't know where... So by just cutting my hair like this.. it's like saying a part of me is gone.. like the hair that has been cut off..

I told my mom about it.. she went ballistic... hahahaa... figures... right mom?? It's not a joy making you and Ayah mad and frustrated.. but who knows me the best if not the two of you... hehee... I hope you guys aren't that pissed off.. Can I still come home during sem break? *giggles*

"your lipstick stain... on the front lobe of my left side brain" - Train

Ola Oli Kuberi Nama

Do you guys remember, when you were a kid.. there was lots of childhood song that you use to sing with your friends or siblings... for example.. When I was in Utah... there was song like "John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt" or "When the Saints go Marching in" or "She'll be coming round the mountain" or "Sally the Camel" or "London Bridge" or even "Old McDonald had a Farm."

But when I came back to Malaysia, I learned more songs... there's this one song that I just remember... but sadly I forgot the hand gestures... it goes something like this

Ola oli kuberi nama,

Saudara saudari cikebum cikebum,

Malam-malam hari, siang-siang hari disko-disko,

Putih-putih melati Alibaba,

Merah-merah jelita meow-meow,

Siapa yg baik hati Cinderella,

Tentu disayang Emak.

If you guys wanna know it is sung... feel free to ask me.. or even better if you know how the song is sung include with the hand gestures... do teach me! 

What I used to sing back in the days...

B.A.R.R.E.D

Did I catch you by surprise? OMG are you shocked? Bet you didn't see that coming right???

haha.. well.. this week.. no, actually today (Tuesday), I had to prove myself to all my lecturers and my fellow comrades that I am not a victim of the 'B' word... yes people.. I was on the barring list... and I know we shouldn't let people know that we're inadequate.. but hey, I'm only human...

Last week was hell on earth for me... one is because I was emotionally unstable with my whole concept of life, love, friendship, studies... typical Kamil right... another thing was that my name was on the friggin barring list for Gamma FA student... feel free to ask why... I felt so low because it's not because I'm too lazy to work my ass of.. it's because of fate... I felt so weak and the fact that this was actually god's way of testing me.. I was already on my knees begging for it to stop...

At the point of giving up... I remembered what I learned in Syariah Islamiah and Al-Quran Sunnah during my form 5 year... the word JIHAD... just like that, I was determined to prove that I am worthy of something...

When you're in trouble and your family is far away, FRIENDS are very important for morale support... Alhamdulillah for me, Mawi, Bapak, Remy, Haziq, Faiq and Acap was there supporting me.. encouraging me to strive... Not to mention Ally, Alia and Ecah who were there for me virtually... Last but not least, Alan who I can't thank enough as he was the real reason I found hope in myself... I thank you all for giving me the support and love and encouragement... Like I said... my family is far... if I lose you guys.. then I don't have anybody here... you guys might don't know how much I value our friendship...

And as for my parents... ayah and ibu... I love you guys more than life itself... I'm so grateful to god that I got to meet you guys in this chaotic moment even if it's for a short while.. I hugged my mom like I never hugged her before... I kissed my dad's cheek like I never did before... I want to say thank you for believe in me and being so understanding.. I wont let you guys down...

For my lecturers.. Mr Jijoe, Mr Azman and Ms Nadia... words cannot express how much I value your criticism... just now.. hearing Mr Jijoe whisper to Ms Nadia after I was done my presentation "That was a huge improvement"... I felt like a huge boulder has been lifted from me and I could take a moment to breathe as deep as I could... with all your guidance and consultation.. I wont let you guys down... thank you for still believing in me and feel like I have the potential...

For those of you I didn't mentioned your name.. I apologize and I thank you guys also for helping me through this dreadful moment..


  

Priscilla Ahn - The Boobs Song

Priscilla Ahn - The Boobs Song from The Mighty Fifty on Vimeo.

I found this video at Acip's facebook... When I saw the word 'boobs' it's just caught my attention.. I mean regardless of gender.. who wouldn't right.. hahaha.. not to mention I had a conversation with a dear friend about boobs for about 5 minutes... you know who you are.. :P

Anyway... Priscilla Ahn.. the girl who Acap claims to be his girlfriend.. is a very creative singer/songwriter.. I love her simple yet meaningful lyrics and how she can play the guitar and the harmonica at the same time.. I know a lot musician can do that but when she does it.. she add the cuteness.. 

What I like about the video besides the song are the shots... they're so beautiful... I feel myself more and more attached with making and editing videos nowadays..

ENJOY THE VIDEO! 

Nothing else matters...

Right now... this moment is the only thing I can think off...

Hayya Bil Jihad

It's happening again.. I don't need to elaborate more on it... but I know god's testing me... so I promise to myself, my family, my friends, my lecturers, my enemies and to god that I'm not giving up... I have to prove myself that I'm worthy of my family and my friends' love... my lecturer and my enemies' respect.. this is a battle of self-proving.. this is my JIHAD


taken from quranicstudies

Jihad is simply the process of "exerting the best efforts," involving some form of "struggle" and "resistance," to achieve a particular goal. In other words, jihad is the struggle against, or resistance to, something for the sake of a goal. The meaning of the word is independent of the nature of the invested efforts or the sought goal. 

Contrary to common belief, the word "jihad" does not necessarily imply any violent effort, let alone "war" and such instances of extreme violence. It is a general term that can mean violent as well as peaceful actions, depending on the context in which it is used, as we shall indeed see later. Similarly, "jihad" as a generic word can be used even when the sought goals are not Islamic, i.e. in non-religious contexts.

By the words of Tun Dr Mahathir "perjuangan masih belum selesai" I will not stop my JIHAD... it's not over until I say it's over... that's my promise.. insyaallah...  

Cheerios!

I'm feeling so down down down right now.. not the Jay Sean kinda down.. unfortunately... I'm down like sad down you know what I'm saying... luckily.. I found a couple of things that I find cheerful enough to carve a smile on my face.. in the words of The Joker "lets put a smile on that face!" :)

my tumblr page... I found this!

hahahhaha.. I wonder who's that fanatic.. I bet it's a she!

Then I found this...

it's been there since the 2nd trimester.. who says there can't be girls in boys' hostel huh... XD

Right now.. I'm still confuse with what I'm feeling... the least I can do is try to smile...